How will I know when I'm feeling better?

Moving through grief can feel like slow motion - sometimes it is difficult to see signs of feeling better. Below are some clues that you are beginning to work through your grief.

• You are in touch with the finality of the death. You know in your heart that your beloved pet is truly gone and will never return to this earth.

• You can review both pleasant and unpleasant memories. In early grief, memories are painful because they remind you of how much you have lost. Later, it feels comforting to remember.

• You can reach out to help someone else in a similar situation. It's healing to be able to use your experience to help others.

• You have not thought of your pet for some time. When this first happens, you may panic, thinking, "I'm forgetting." This is not true, you will never forget. You are giving yourself permission to go on with your life.

• Your eating, sleeping, and exercise patterns return to what they were beforehand.

• You no longer feel tired all the time.

• You have developed a routine or a new schedule in your daily life.

• You can find something for which to be thankful. You always knew there were good things going on in your life, and now they have new significance.

• You have patience with yourself through "grief attacks." They are becoming further apart and less frightening and painful.

• You look forward to getting up in the morning.

• You acknowledge your new life and even discover personal growth from experiencing grief.

(Adopted from Fitzgerald, H., August 2, 2002. You know you are getting better when... from www.americanhospice.org)